As another year creeps in to take over….
My mind, thoughts, plans (with warnings of setbacks
Brought on by age, and even more so by ageism)
All turn to the old adage –
We regret the things we haven’t done far more than the things we did
Two more years to a number frightening in the sheer weight of its phonetics
I never thought I could get old(er).
Each passing year is calling for a narrower/longer mirror
I deceive myself that choices made earlier are forgiven
I tell myself that it was ok to love more than you.
Comparative studies make me despise myself
(If it is ok for her to love-live with a man who loves other men and probably loves her less, but respects her more and is a great father to their three kids; my heart is getting smaller with each year that it beats. Colder too.)
But they also make me kinder in a way similar to the yet new mirror and it’s phantasmagoric effects on my waistline
I draw juxtapositions, I try not to picture other people in compromising positions
Only sometimes I do.
The girl that cries over birds and saves more than one apartment can fit – despises people. “Only people can hurt/cage/starve/abandon birds.”
She stopped eating chicken. But continues judging.
What after all is kindness?
Is defending a turkey, superior in the end, to the right of other people to not be judged about their weight. After all people aren’t turkeys and their weight doesn’t determine their worth, their fate…
She would say this juxtaposition is flawed because I am looking at it from the viewpoint of a human.
Another year. Another tale.
You are a man. And I am not one. I dream of your hand and mine as one.
This poem is one epic fail. But I will most likely always remain your tail. Even if I occasionally swerve to follow another.
Be patient. Somebody told me that crushes are a disease. Fever subsides and you wonder what did you see before that now resembles dust
Who was it that wrote about love (who didn’t ?) -while emotions burn it’s a hypnotic fire of orange and red. But it all burns down to ashes…
Who wants to look at those?
Or think about them?